I heart dorkiness in all forms.

This stuff is so cool.

I am, unfortunately, too techno impaired to get a picture directly onto this blog to show you.

Story of my life...

Okay, it needs to be addressed.

*****This post is not for the faint of heart*****

It has been brought to my attention that Dork is an old whaler's term for this.


Zig, I thought you'd appreciate that fact.

There are also sites de-bunking this as an urban legend, but nobody said it was a scientific term.


If that thing is pre-hensile, I'm gonna be REALLY grossed out.

(I put up the Dorksignal for myself, because I just googled "dork, Whale Penis")

Things you should know:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dorkblogggers!

1. Dorkblogggers are black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.
2. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Dorkblogggers.
3. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Dorkblogggers.
4. The Eskimos have over fifty words for Dorkblogggers!
5. All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to Dorkblogggers.
6. Dorkblogggers can be seen from space!
7. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Dorkblogggers.
8. Olive oil was used for washing Dorkblogggers in the ancient Mediterranean world.
9. Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Dorkblogggers!
10. Dorkblogggerology is the study of Dorkblogggers.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

My Honey says this confirms my Dorkk Status.

I love this list.

He may be right.

I tried to pick a favorite.

I think I know mine--what's yours?

Dorky AND gassy. Who would have thunk it.

If you've read my blog, you know that I will sometimes divulge a little TMI. It can't be helped, but just to warn you (as if the title of this post didn't), this post is about bodily functions... Proceed at your own risk. :D

Last night I went to bed after the hubs. I'm a night person, always have been. So after messing around with some new Photoshop Elements plugins, and deciding that I look too old to be without bangs unless I spend the necessary 20 minutes on my hair- and knowing that there was no way in heck I was about to do that every day when I have more important things to do, like blogging- I stayed up another 30 minutes debating over cutting my grown out bangs then finally doing it.

So basically, I was up another 45 minutes more than the hubs, and since I was standing so close to the bathroom mirror/light fixture, when I finally made my way to the bedroom I was pretty well blind in the darkness.

I felt around and got into bed. It was so windy last night (hahaha, you'll see why I'm laughing in a minute) that I had a hard time getting to sleep. When I did drift off to sleep, the rumbling in my belly- and eventually my butt area- woke me up.

Goodness, I thought, it's a good thing that John decided to sleep in Anna's room (because she has asked him to), and I thought about how I try to save my poor husband misery sometimes and just hold it in at bedtime. But, I was alone and I was uncomfortable, so I just kept letting the rumblies out.

I managed to drift off to sleep until the next installment of natural effervescence, and managed to wake myself up again. This time I felt the bed move. Oh gawd, this is earth quake weather, and we have had one or two since moving to Iowa. The bed moved again, and I lay there very still waiting to see if it would get stronger and debating whether or not I should just go ahead and grab Emma out of her bed and stand in the door way.

Suddenly something touched my foot, I yelped... I look over and see my poor husband peeking at me through sleepy lids. It had been him moving the bed, not an earth quake... Oh frick, and I had been passing gas with reckless abandon for about a half an hour! I start to laugh.

I started to giggle now, and once I start I have a hard time stopping. My husband would drift off to sleep and I would start up again. "I'm sorry, I seem to be keeping you awake with all sorts of noises tonight, "I manged to get out through giggles.

"Not that I would know, " he chuckles,"I'm slowly being poisoned by methane over here."

Needless to say, that didn't help my giggle fits any. He was awake for another 15 minutes. After 18 yrs of marriage, I am embarrassed to be passing gas in front of the husband. Who would have thunk it.

dorky versus

I've already said how much I love the cult of Chuck. I think this is hysterical:

10 Reasons Johnny Cash OWNS Chuck Norris

Reason 1.Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.

Reason 9.Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.

Dorky Friday.......

Is it wrong to not just ponder...but actively partake in mischief??? Time I guess will tell:)

Being both Dork, geek, and perv....not to mention bad at math via this sentence, I had a mischievous dork moment today.

The geek in me is attempting to hardwire an old stereo preamp and turntable to my pc...we have alot of old records we want to digitize. I was all cool and proud of myself for killing time while out of town for hitting up the local radio crap store to buy the proper cables...yak with the sales clerk...and hit the road home.

I'm about an hour into my return trip and dork moment hit me, I had bought the wrong ass cables!! Granted they were proper on paper...that they were rca one end...1/8 inch stereo the other......but the damn things were RCA male.......grrr. What to do.....what to do...hey..there's an ABC Warehouse......lets go peek!!!

Sure enough..they had the female to female rca adapters I needed...and cheap too. I can sneak outta here for less than $4 bucks....thats cheaper and less funny than toilet paper stuck to your shoe...this is a good day!

Then as the pretty young gal is ringing up my purchase while we flirt...it comes...the spanish inquisition..aka...fbi profile moment. "First Name?" ( hate this crap.....always followed by zip code and phone number...info you don't need to have to sell me $4 dollars worth of anything!! )

I did the only thing that seemed proper my mood at the time. I gave the name, zipcode and direct phone number of the boss that let me go this feb. I'm sure he'll enjoy the special offers coming his way soon!! :)