Thursday, June 7, 2007

Dorky AND gassy. Who would have thunk it.

If you've read my blog, you know that I will sometimes divulge a little TMI. It can't be helped, but just to warn you (as if the title of this post didn't), this post is about bodily functions... Proceed at your own risk. :D

Last night I went to bed after the hubs. I'm a night person, always have been. So after messing around with some new Photoshop Elements plugins, and deciding that I look too old to be without bangs unless I spend the necessary 20 minutes on my hair- and knowing that there was no way in heck I was about to do that every day when I have more important things to do, like blogging- I stayed up another 30 minutes debating over cutting my grown out bangs then finally doing it.

So basically, I was up another 45 minutes more than the hubs, and since I was standing so close to the bathroom mirror/light fixture, when I finally made my way to the bedroom I was pretty well blind in the darkness.

I felt around and got into bed. It was so windy last night (hahaha, you'll see why I'm laughing in a minute) that I had a hard time getting to sleep. When I did drift off to sleep, the rumbling in my belly- and eventually my butt area- woke me up.

Goodness, I thought, it's a good thing that John decided to sleep in Anna's room (because she has asked him to), and I thought about how I try to save my poor husband misery sometimes and just hold it in at bedtime. But, I was alone and I was uncomfortable, so I just kept letting the rumblies out.

I managed to drift off to sleep until the next installment of natural effervescence, and managed to wake myself up again. This time I felt the bed move. Oh gawd, this is earth quake weather, and we have had one or two since moving to Iowa. The bed moved again, and I lay there very still waiting to see if it would get stronger and debating whether or not I should just go ahead and grab Emma out of her bed and stand in the door way.

Suddenly something touched my foot, I yelped... I look over and see my poor husband peeking at me through sleepy lids. It had been him moving the bed, not an earth quake... Oh frick, and I had been passing gas with reckless abandon for about a half an hour! I start to laugh.

I started to giggle now, and once I start I have a hard time stopping. My husband would drift off to sleep and I would start up again. "I'm sorry, I seem to be keeping you awake with all sorts of noises tonight, "I manged to get out through giggles.

"Not that I would know, " he chuckles,"I'm slowly being poisoned by methane over here."

Needless to say, that didn't help my giggle fits any. He was awake for another 15 minutes. After 18 yrs of marriage, I am embarrassed to be passing gas in front of the husband. Who would have thunk it.


Bunny said...

Can you teach my husband this embarrassment thing? I'd like him to be embarrassed about it once in a while! One time he passed gas in bed, with the offending orifice pointed toward the door, and just at that moment the wind slammed the door shut. Needless to say, he took credit and has been proud of his own "windiness" ever since.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG, hilarious! I love that you THOUGHT you were alone & were just letting rip like that only to find you were not alone! But, just your hubs of 18 years so no harm done, haha!!

Mert said...

LOL! I would have been proud too! Guys learn the joys of pootin' young. It's a rite of passage , I think.;)

Mert said...

Michelle, I can't even tell you... I was so embarrassed! I think i was so red, I was glowing in the dark. Of course that could have been from nuclear fallout, from my butt. LOL!

Dorky Dad said...

They really should discuss bedroom windiness during marriage preparation classes. Sure, you can talk about finances and not having affairs and all that stuff, but nighttime gas is an important marital issue.

ZigZagMan said...

The lovely wife seems not to have this embarassment thing you speak of....:)