Saturday, November 17, 2007

On Michigan and fruit flies......

OK...so this is a little embarrassing, but I have a confession. My house and I have a battle going on now with a vermin known as FRUIT FLIES!!...Long deep music score.

Michigan has had a real problem with them this year, but thats no real consolation when your kids toss something in the trash bin...and they get kamakazeed by 150 of the lil bastards.....which ofcourse means I had to man up..

My 1st move was to simply move the trash outside, simple yes? No trash, lil bastards would die off. So that plan failed as I noticed that a single lemon rind could breed 300 a day.....

My 2nd...and I think my most brilliant move........was to go old school. I took the bold step and decided bug spray was bad, my mom never used it......my mom had a better solution......it was called.....Aqua Net...

My mom went through 5 cans of Aqua Net a week, cig in one hand and can in the other....we all lived...no bugs....surely.......this plan can not go wrong!!! I mean it's perfect........airborn glue sticking to their wings and your hair......they should and would drop like...well...flies!!

A trip to the store and some questions quickly led me to the realization that I could no longer buy Aquanet...and the 20 sumfin girl looked at me like I had clubbed a baby seal for even suggesting it. This was depressing.

I settled for a can of Suave, extra hold. Suave extra hold......is a hairspray that no only does not kill fruit flies, but gives them a natural gloss and shine. They seem to like it. Do not buy this hairspray to kill fruitflies!!!! They eat it!!!

I felt old....and grumpy when I admitted defeat, then went to ace hardware, bought a can of flying insect kill spray. My wife is still chuckling.........

9 comments:

Crawlspace said...

I had a fruit fly infestation once. I recall setting out glasses of some concoction involving vinegar and soap. The tiny fruit flies would fly into the liquid and die.

Jennfactor 10 said...

Oh, Zig, we have gnats at work that drive me nuts. I get completely caddyshack about them. See, once you mentioned the cigarette, I envisioned a flame thrower action...

Mary said...

I've tried wine, they obviously thought I was cheap and wouldn't drink it. You made me LOL about your mom... I could totally picture the flame thrower too. :D But you've already had problems with flames in your kitchen, so probably not a good idea. ;)

If you have a garbage disposal, the lil' bastards like to hide out there too, so pour some bleach down there. Mine got so bad that they migrated up to my bathroom and I had to pour bleach down that sink too.

Bunny said...

Wine or fruit juice with dish soap will attract them and then they drown. giggle

No more AquaNet? Say it ain't so!! Maybe they have it at the dollar store . . .

Ash said...

You do not know the pain of mosquitoes in Florida, obviously!

ZigZagMan said...

crawlspace...I'm going to try your mix and see...:)

factor10...I think we all know about this homes occasional problems with uncontrolled flame..:)

mert...Picky fruit flies?? The bastards!! :)

bunny...Damnit...thats what I get for not going to the dollar store, though I suspect it's banned there too, perhaps I could poison the bastards with chinese toothepaste..:)

ash...2 sisters living in Florida, I've heard the stories, to which I usually say..."wait..you have prehistoric lizards big enough to eat you, living in your swimming pool..and you gripe about mosquitoes??" Eh.....tough lot you floridians are I tells ya!! :)

Canada said...

A little late, but what works very well is to put out several small dishes with about half an inch of cider vinegar in them. Cover tightly with cling wrap of some sort (that kind that clings!). Poke little holes, just a few, in the wrap. Little holes - use a cocktail toothpick. The flies can smell the fermented fruit (apples in the cider vinegar). The can fit throught the holes, but can't get back out. Change every three days or so.

Anonymous said...

Fruit flies - I remember these critters from biology lessons. They have handy inherited characteristic-y wotsits that make them cool for breeding experiments to teach people about gennes and stuff.
So it's a shame you don't have an infestation of geneticists, so you could get them together.

Anonymous said...

Or even "genes" (sorry about the spelling - I have an extra "n" gene for some reasonn)